Date: 17 Jul 2000
To: kitten
From: dollyoko


ciao dearest kitten

i am so tardy email girl these days


not sure if u r currently in belgium -- i'm here in rome, still suffering my creative malaise, not even writing emails so my little 'letters from pigneto' hasnt started yet...

your questions lie unanswered -- so hard to enter any kind of writing space - have figured that for me there is a clear relationship between getting fucked, being obsessively in love/lust/enchantment and writing .. need to raise my g-slime levels - maybe time to return to slutting online, altho that seems a big step back to the past - don't know. don't know

your story of your drug + writing - sex w/e with *beautifully deceptive sexworker* reminded me of times i have experienced with one or two people -- maybe after long months of flirtation in softspace the real becomes real too quickly when it is played out in the hardspace of a weekend -- the personas become entangled with the self, too much confusion, leads to fear and withdrawal ..and the awkward silences and stutters afterwards

what is 'real' anyway ..why does the 'real' have to become so solidified into lumpen scripts suffocating play and delight?

i want to be ghost, always fluid

very hard here in the ruins of empire

i shave my pussy to find a little girl

but even she is unfuckable, lips sewn up

mute bodies, dead kisses

no escape, no future

or perhaps it is all a dream

with love
francesca xoxoxo